So, you want to have more family meals, or maybe you want to simply start having family meals in the first place. But life is crazy, where do you begin, how do you make this work? Let me give you 5 simple ways you can have more meals with your family.
My family has been having dinners together most nights of the week since the beginning of my marriage. Though we’ve always done it, that doesn’t mean it’s always been easy. There are still distractions, our schedules fill up quickly, and sometimes I just don’t want to do the work to put dinner together. Here are 5 things I’ve learned that have helped us be consistent with family dinners despite the busy or hard seasons.
1. Prioritize.
If you want to have family meals, they have to be a priority. Even if you only have 2-3 meals together each week, if those meals aren’t a priority you’ll ‘run out of time’ quickly. Because family meals are a priority for us, we organize most other things around them. With something like going to Bible study, which starts at 6pm, we simply have dinner earlier one night a week. The hard truth is this: you make time for the things you prioritize, and you prioritize what matters to you.
I’ve had many things in life I’ve wanted to do or made goals for. At the end of the day I never followed through because I didn’t prioritize them. In truth, they didn’t matter to me as much as something else. I used to say I was the queen of “not enough time.” It turns out I was just the popper of misplaced priorities. Sit down with your schedule, assess your life. What matters to you? What are you prioritizing? Does something need to change for you to have family dinners?
2. Start Small.
If you are new to family meals, you don’t have to go all out at once. Give yourself permission to start small. Start with 2 shared meals a week, then increase to 3 or 4. After you’re comfortable with that, increase to 5 or 6.
Side Note: Who says every meal together must be dinner? If dinner doesn’t work, I get it – sometimes you, (or your spouse) have to head out the door for the night shift right around dinner time. Does it work better for your family to make breakfast the family meal? The important thing is gathering as a family over a shared meal, not what time you do that. Find a time that works for your family. Make a plan for shared meals together whether they are breakfast, lunch, or dinner. A nice Saturday morning sit down breakfast counts as a shared meal. Or an easy Sunday dinner works well if your family is there. Right there you’ve had two family meals together in one weekend!
The only thing that I don’t personally count as a shared meal together is a meal in front of the television. While you may be together with your family you are not able to enjoy your family like you would at the table. This does not mean you can’t have a family movie night. Our family has a “snacky dinner and movie night” (more on this in a bit) once a week. But, we don’t count these as family dinners. Instead, these once-a-week dinners are a, usually much needed, relaxing and fun family night.
3. Make a Plan.
Meal panning, love it or hate it, has really helped me make sure we have healthy-ish meals we can all enjoy together. Dinners range from crock pot meals, to roasts, or casseroles and depending on the season, simple grilled food. While it may be the black hole of the internet, I find so many inspiring and even simple recipes on Pinterest (though beware there are complicated and expensive recipes as well).
Sometimes I even get into a groove of menu planning which makes cooking much easier. This current season we’ve fallen into a pattern something like this:
- Sunday: Snacky Dinner (more on this below)
- Monday: Soup
- Tuesday: Tacos (who doesn’t enjoy taco Tuesday?)
- Wednesdays: sandwiches (a super-fast and easy dinner so we can get out the door to bible study on time – our kids attend Bible study with us).
- Friday: Pizza or pasta
This list leaves only 2 days a week I really have to think about what we’re going to eat. Using a simple system like this helped me menu plan easily. Doing this has cut the time it took to plan our weekly menu at least in half! No more searching the internet for hours to find recipes I thought my kids would like. No more trying to make sure I had everything I would possibly need for those complicated recipes on my list. I pretty much know what I would need from the store each week. And I ended up saving money because I wasn’t buying something I would only use once. I think I still have spices in my cabinet from two years ago that I only used in one recipe.
We fill in the other days based on our schedule, our needs, or what we have in the freezer. Some weeks we switch it up. The list above is a current look into what’s been on my menu each week in the season of life we are in right now. We just happened to fall into this meal schedule because my kids love all these meals, they are easy and quick to make, and I don’t have to think about the ingredients or recipes. We still order takeout when we need to. Yes, we still buy prepackaged or precooked food when we need to. I certainly don’t cook everything from scratch. And I do try a new recipe here and there. it’s a balance.
4. Have a “Sabbath” Meal
Since we pastor a church, Sunday mornings are usually long and sometimes tiring. If my husband is preaching and I’m leading worship we are just emotionally, physically, and spiritually spent by the time the service is over. I’m not complaining about this, it just comes with life in ministry. Our weeks are often busy with school, work, and more ministry. Lately, I’ve gotten in the habit of having a sabbath meal – a meal fit for rest. This meal is the one day a week I don’t have to cook or clean up from our dinner together. So every Sunday we have, what our children affectionately like to call, “snacky dinner.”
What is our Snacky Dinner? Think something along the lines of a charcuterie board of sorts. I grab a cookie sheet and line it with parchment paper (easy cleanup, keeps the cookie sheet clean). I then place a variety of options on the cookie sheet. Some options include cheese, crackers, salami or other meat, in-season fruit, raw veggies, and crackers or bread.
I assure you it’s not as fancy as those charcuterie boards you see gracing Instagram and Pinterest. Sometimes it’s pretty, sometimes it’s just piles of various items, and sometimes my 18-month-old su-chef designs our tray whatever way she thinks is best. Regardless of how it looks, my 2 favorite things about this meal are that my kids love it, and I don’t have to do much work to put it together and therefore I can rest more. For me, this rest time is especially important after a morning of ministry. These snacky dinners are usually combined with movie nights since we can just take the tray to wherever we are sitting and enjoy it.
5. Last, but Certainly Not Least, Buy the Paper Plates.
They aren’t just for parties, BBQs, or large gatherings, if it’s in your budget – buy the paper plates. Sometimes a little convenience for the sake of what is more important is a good thing. If your struggle is the cleanup, buy a pack of paper plates or bowls to make family dinners more simple.
We try to keep a pack of paper plates in our kitchen storage. While we don’t use them every night or every meal, it is a relaxing thought to know if I’ve had a hard day and need a little more time to relax when the kids go to bed, I can pull out the paper plates and cut my clean up time in half (or more depending on the meal). When I’m stressed or tired, I don’t enjoy dinner with my family the same way I would when I’m feeling great. Paper plates give me an opportunity to invest in my family while taking care of my needs at the same time. There’s nothing wrong with using paper plates if it encourages you to eat together more often.
In the end, family dinners are important, and with a little creativity, and some ideas that can be thrown out the window (like the plates you eat off, the meals you cook, or the number of meals you share), you will probably find that you can, in fact, do this! Don’t worry about doing everything at once, just try adding one more family meal this week.
Let me know, what has helped you be more consistent with family meals?
Pin It For Later:
Want More Like This?
Check out “Family Dinners & Discipleship” for more on the important roll that family dinners play in discipleship.
Or click here for tips to help teach your children how to pray.
