At some point or another, we will all struggle with choosing faith in the dark seasons of life. For some, it may be easier than others. Here’s what I’ve learned from a story of a blind man and my own season of choosing faith in the dark.
The Faith of a Blind Man
I wonder what it took for the blind Bartimaeus to cry out to Jesus (Mark 10:46-52).
He spent his entire life sitting in the dark.
Think about that for a minute.
He never once saw the light. Bartimaeus never encountered the warmth of a smiling face or saw the colors in a beautiful sunset. His entire life, he had been cast aside. He was doomed to live on the sidelines, in the shadows of everyone else’s busy lives.
But one day everything changed.
He heard Jesus walking by. He couldn’t be sure though, he could have been wrong, after all, he couldn’t see. All he had to rely on was hearing Jesus walking by. Maybe he heard someone in the crowd say his name. He had probably heard the stories that were spreading like wildfire about this man who had the power to heal.
When Jesus walked by, Bartimaeus took a chance. He risked everything and cried out to Jesus. His first cries were rebuked by the crowd, but when he continued to raise his voice to the Savior his entire world changed. Jesus asked him, “what do you want me to do for you.” To which he responded by asking for sight. Immediately he could see. As all of the colors flooded into his newly opened eyes he saw Jesus standing in front of Him.
The very first thing he saw was the God of creation in human form. What a beautiful thing to behold Christ.
Scripture tells us he got up and followed Jesus, glorifying Him!
“What a beautiful thing to behold Christ.”
Choosing Faith In The Dark
While I have no idea what it’s like to be blind, I do know what darkness feels like. I know the sting of rejection. I know the cut of words that were meant to harm. I’ve lived in darkness. (and no, I’m not talking about before I started following Jesus).
Recently, it felt like our entire world came crashing down around us when we faced abuse within the church God called us to. It ripped open my entire life and revealed the hurt, stemming back to my childhood, which I thought I had dealt with.
When everything around you comes crashing down and it seems as if you’re standing in a hopeless pile of rubble, what do you do? When darkness and pain push their way into your life uninvited, how do you cling to the light?
As human beings, we have a tendency to try to gather all the pieces and rebuild whatever we can by ourselves. But if we go at it alone we’re likely to rebuild by tucking our pain into little glass houses destined to break apart.
It’s easy to have faith when you can see.
It’s easy to live full of faith when you can see clearly, and you are on the mountaintop. But everyone’s faith is challenged in the dark. When the mountain shakes and you find yourself in the shadow of a mountain, it feels so alone. Everyone will come to one of these moments in life. Henry Blackaby calls it a “Crisis of belief” (Experiencing God).
The Shadow Reveals the light
What if we stop seeing the mountain’s shadow as forcing us into the darkness? What if we started to see the shadows as proof that there is light?
If you feel like your life is being lived in the shadow of insurmountable mountains remember this: In order for an object to create a shadow, there has to be light. Perhaps the shadow is a reminder that there is light. These mountains we think are in the way of us beholding Christ are revealing to us that He is in fact there. And to me, that’s the encouragement that I need to continue, or in some cases even start my climb…
Upward.
To behold the Savior.
To see the light of His face.
Hard Is Not Impossible
I was at a pastors’ conference with my husband a few years ago and one of the speakers shared something along the lines of this: “Faith is taking one step into the unknown darkness, and then another. Until you are surrounded by the unknown in the dark and then trusting Jesus to guide your steps.”
That is HARD. But hard is not the same thing as impossible.
What I’ve discovered is that having faith in the dark isn’t something that I can muster up on my own. When it feels like I’m in the dark seasons of life; when I feel alone and I’m weary from life, God still meets with me if I’m looking to hear Him. For a post about hearing God click here. The most important and life-changing thing I’ve learned to do in the dark shadows of life is to cry out to God. Because God hears me when I cry out to Him. He answers my call. And God is big enough to handle my cries.
Pray For Faith In The Dark
I don’t pray for the darkness to disappear, instead, I pray that I would see more of God’s light. I pray for more of God’s presence. Sometimes God wants me to sit with him, and simply be in His presence in the midst of the darkness. If I’m in too much of a rush to get out of the pain and overcome the shadow I can miss the sweetness of beholding Christ in the midst of the darkness.
Prayer doesn’t always take you out of the darkness. It doesn’t numb the hurt. It doesn’t erase the past. But prayer – crying out to God in the darkness is part of embracing a God who draws near to us.
What a beautiful thing it is to behold Christ. Even more beautiful in our pain and hardships.
Having faith in the dark is hard, but not impossible. In fact, it can be one of the sweetest places to meet with our Savior.
