Family Dinners and Discipleship

Family dinners are far better for discipleship than classrooms, workbooks, or formal instruction. They are an act of worship, a call to community, and a place for communion.

How often do you see the dinner table as discipleship? Too often I think of it as a chore, one more task on my to-do list; another thing I need to clean up from; something my kids are going to complain about; or just another thing I don’t have time for. Too often I fail to see the opportunity that family dinners are. I fail to see the beauty of this simple moment and the worship it’s calling me to.

The Benefits and Importance of Family Dinners

Multiple studies and surveys have been done on the importance of family meals. Through these studies and surveys, we can learn everything from…

How regular family dinners produce healthier eating habits (for children and adults).

to…

According to this article in The Atlantic (citing research from NCASA at Columbia University), children who eat dinner with their families more often are less likely to struggle with drugs/alcohol, often get better grades, and report being closer with their parents [The Atlantic];

or…

More family dinners often lead to greater emotional well-being for children

These studies and surveys have also clued us in as to what stands in the way of family dinners. Sixty-two percent of parents say they would like to have family dinners more often than they do. The largest obstacles to family dinners are schedules, distractions, and not enough time. In fact, in the last 20 years, the frequency of family dinners has declined thirty-three percent.

Making Dinner Together A Priority

In our western culture, we are conditioned to always be on the go. We’re always moving, working, and adding more to our already busy schedule. Often this is in the name of good things like paying the bills or getting our kids into college.

What would happen if we started treating family dinners as something sacred? What if we saw meals as a holy time? As a place for God to meet with us as a family. A time for us to meet with God and enjoy His blessings as we gather around a shared meal? Family dinners give us a great opportunity to disciple our children. They are an act of worship, a call to enjoy community, and a place for communion.

Family Dinners are an act of worship

The act of worship through family dinners begins well before dinner is served. Some may even argue it starts in the grocery store when you purchase your food. The act of preparing for dinner can be worship. As you buy your groceries, have you ever stopped to consider the wonder of the world we live in? How God created the world to sustain us, to feed us, and to clothe us? Have you stopped to give thanks for the farmers and industry workers that God has granted able bodies to do hard work so that we don’t have to?

As you think through meals, have you considered how each item you buy sustains and gives strength to your body? Are you making choices to worship God through how you treat your body? There was a comedian who made a joke about how we buy the most unhealthy foods yet ask God to bless it and turn it into a nutritious meal on its way to our bellies. While this joke is funny, so many times I tend to think that way without any concern for what my body needs to fuel it, to help it heal, or to treat it like the temple of the holy spirit it is.

Lest you think I live super healthy, I sit writing this while craving a chocolate cookie, making plans to eat one as soon as I’m done writing. Choosing healthy food is worship. But that doesn’t mean we can’t also enjoy food. God has given us food to enjoy, not just to sustain us. God also gave us taste buds and enjoyable food. Taking time to enjoy the goodness that He has created in the earth is also worship. The next time you have that chocolate chip cookie take delight in it, knowing that God has lavished his goodness on us even through the food He’s given us to sustain our lives.  

Praise At the Dinner Table

When we come together for family dinner (or any shared meal), we have an opportunity to thank God for His blessings. Praying before a meal isn’t just something we check off so we can consume our food. Or as one of my children thought: the time it takes for food to cool down enough to eat. It’s a time to stop and praise God for the bountiful blessings he has poured out on us. It’s an opportunity to model prayer for our children and an opportunity for them to take part in prayer. This is a time to take turns thanking God for his blessings.

When our family sits down for a meal we often start with the question, “who would like to pray for dinner?” Sometimes one child volunteers, sometimes they all want a turn and together we praise God. At the end of our children’s prayers, my husband or I usually close us out with any needs or prayers forgotten in our children’s prayers. This is a great form of discipleship because our children are not only seeing us pray, they can practice it on their own! There’s no pressure to pray long and no requirement to pray for everything. It’s just a time to come together in thanksgiving, worship, and simple requests for an almighty and wonderful God!

Lastly, when we gather at the dinner table, we have an opportunity to remember and look forward to what is to come – the marriage supper of the lamb. When we gather for a meal, we have an opportunity to rejoice in the promised feast to come. This is especially important if you’ve ever struggled to put a meal on the table (whether due to financial hardships, time constraints, etc). One day, there will be no struggle. On that day we will partake in a glorious supper of celebration with our King, our God, and our Groom.

“Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; … Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.”

Revelation 19:7, 9, ESV

Family Dinners Are A Call To Community

If you’ve ever gotten together with extended family over a holiday meal, you’ve probably experienced the unity family dinners can bring. Over the holidays, (usually centered around the family table) we put aside our differences and our opinions to enjoy being together. We are unified around a meal and the smiles of loved ones. Often you walk away from that meal feeling like you belong, you’re loved, and you have a community. This can happen every meal around our dinner table, whether our family is small, large, or anything in between. The following verses speak again to the community we find at our own dinner tables:

Jesus says in Matthew 18:20, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I among them” (ESV). Often we use this verse when praying in a small group, or talking about our church services. But have you stopped to think about its truth within our family dinners? Chances are you have at least two, but probably three if you’re reading this, gathered at your dinner table. At the dinner table, we not only have community with each other but also community with Christ!

Then, there’s Hebrews 10:24-25. “And let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (NIV). This passage, like the above, is often referenced regarding the Sunday morning church service. Our dinner tables are also places of gathering. They are a place where we can encourage our children (as believers) toward love and good deeds.

Through family dinners, we give an opportunity for our children to practice being part of a larger community of believers. In our home, we teach our children that each of us are part of something bigger than just ourselves. Our children are a part of a larger family unit, and that family unit is a part of the larger body of believers, the church.

“So in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.”

Romans 12:5, NIV

Family Dinners serve as a place of communion.

Before Jesus was crucified, he shared one last meal with his disciples – the ominous and rightly named, “Last Supper.” This supper was a Passover meal. The Jewish nation would have been remembering God’s salvation from slavery in Egypt. But Jesus knew he was the salvation from our own slavery to sin and death. It was at this supper that communion was established.

The act of communion may look different to various Christians depending on denominational or individual church tradition. Regardless of how it looks the point of communion is the same. A reminder of the sacrifice that brought us life. It’s a time to consider the One who took our place of death and punishment so we could be free for all eternity. Communion is all about the gospel.

Regardless of your specific denominational views, the attitude of communion can be brought into our homes. As we partake in our food at our own dinner tables, we can remember Christ among us, and Christ to come. We can instill in our children what communion means. Churches over the last two years have continued to offer communion to their congregation despite being apart. Even in online services communion still takes place.

While it may absolutely horrify some, I’ve heard of people taking communion with soda because they didn’t have grape juice or wine. We must remember, the act of communion is more than just the elements (the bread and the juice). The act of communion is an act of remembrance. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 11 that, “as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.” Communion is proclaiming the sacrifice of Christ and the life he brings us. That is something our children need to be a part of.

So, what would happen if we started regularly carving out time in our family dinners to remember Christ’s sacrifice? To think about how his body was broken and his blood was shed on our behalf. What if we started teaching our children what communion is when we are in our own homes? No one else is. No one else is explaining communion to our children. Yet we expect them to understand before they ever receive it. What better place for communion than at the place Jesus instituted it – the dinner table.

So, when we gather around the table for family dinners, we are not just benefiting our children’s health and emotional wellbeing. We are also, as a family, engaging in worship, fulfilling our call to community, and partaking in communion. All these things are just pieces of discipling our children in the faith.

Pin It For Later: