Our children are not the church of the future, they are the church of today. Unfortunately, most of the churches I’ve been a part of have kept children from being the church because they are still learning and growing in faith. News flash – so am I (and I’ve been in the church my entire life). They aren’t going to learn to be the church on their own, you have to help your children BE the Church.
For a long time, the Church has asked the question, “How can we keep kids in church?” The Church is facing a crisis in regard to the next generation. According to somewhat recent surveys, about 70% of children raised in the Church will leave the Church when they graduate. And after a decade only about half of those who left will return to the Church (You can read this article here).
How do we combat this statistic as parents of young children? I believe the answer is to help our children be the church even when they are young. If you’re asking, “What is the church?” you can check out this blog post real quick, then come back and finish reading here.
Understanding what went wrong
Somewhere we’ve gotten some things backward in the Church. We’ve made “church” a place where many believers sit and are fed while a few use their gifts and tirelessly feed the congregation and the community. But the Bible portrays the Church as a community – a body. In this body, every member is doing their part to encourage the church and expand the kingdom of God. We can’t afford to keep our kids from engaging in the body of Christ. We can’t afford to wait until they are older to teach them how to be the church. Because once our children choose to come to Christ and make Him their Lord they are a part of His body. Now we have to show them what that means through discipleship.
So how exactly do we help our children be the church?
If you haven’t already read my post of the master plan of discipleship, you’ll want to go do that now – check it out here. If you don’t have time to read it right now, I’ll summarize it. There’s a 4 step plan to discipleship – we will use this plan as we help our children be the church. The four steps are:
- Model
- Teach
- Invite
- Send
We’re not all the same
The hard part is that our children may have different roles in the body – different spiritual gifts and abilities than us and part of step 2 – teaching – is helping them discover their gifts as they grow. Each of our children is individual – I love that! I love that we are not cookie-cutter creations, but God intricately designed each of us so uniquely.
The easiest way to help children be the church is to involve them in Bible study/Bible memorization, prayer, and worship. You may also want to consider these 2 posts if your children attend any part of the Sunday service with you: (DIY ribbon wands for worship & How to make a church bag).
When it comes to being the church one thing the entire church can and should be doing is praying for one another. Your children are more than capable of praying for fellow believers. They may not need all the details of someone’s sickness to pray for their healing. They don’t have to know all the hardships of persecution to pray for the global church or the missionaries your church supports. Get your kids praying and celebrate God’s answers together!
Make it Individual
The rest of this post will focus on some more individual ideas of how you can help your children be the church. I’m going to talk about my kids and how I can help them be the church. Since I don’t personally know your children I cannot tell you exactly what to do. I encourage you to take the principles here, along with a few ideas, and start experimenting, try a few things out and see what works for your kids. You’ll need to prayerfully determine how to implement this within your own family.
1. Take into consideration their personality.
From the time my 7-year-old and 4-year-old were infants, we knew they would be lovers of people. While they both engage with people differently they are the first to jump in and meet new friends wherever they go. My 6-year-old on the other hand is an introvert’s introvert. I cannot tell you the tears that have been shed over meeting new people or being in a new environment. Though he is incredibly shy, he can come out of his shell when he either 1) has a safe place to return to, or 2) loves what he’s doing. As much as he is working through his social anxiety, he has the most tender and caring heart of any of my kids and loves God and His creations fiercely.
Be very gentle in pushing your children outside of their comfort zone – they are still learning and growing. Their biggest need is to feel safe and loved by the Church. That is the only place that will encourage them to belong and be the church.
2. Think about what your kids are good at and where their interest lies.
What are your children are good at? What do they love to do?
My 2-year-old absolutely loves being in the kitchen and mixing up treats. My 6-year-old loves to color and draw and create little books and cards.
God gave each of our kids their personality and interests. As parents our responsibility is not to wish for kids who are what we want them to be, it’s to shepherd who God created them to be.
3. Shepherd their gifts and interests
As we help our kids be the Church, we have to shepherd the gifts and interests God gave them and get creative. Here’s what that looks like with my kids:
The Artist
I’ve already shared how my 6-year-old is shy, but has the tenderest of hearts and loves art. One easy beginner step for him to be the church is to put his art interest to use. I want to show him how God can use his art to love others. The easiest way to do this is to have him create pictures or cards for people within our church.
As we pray for people within our community we can talk about how a picture or a short note would be encouraging for someone to receive. It costs us no more than the going rate of postage stamps, a piece of paper, and some pencils. This may seem so insignificant to us, but it shows our children that their gifts – whatever they may be – can be used to bring God glory and encourage others. My 6-year-old comes alive when he can create things for other people.
The Chef
I like to call my 2-year-old my sous chef, she’s always in the kitchen with me. One thing I love to do is bless people with food so this aspect of being the church is one of the easiest for me to involve my kids in. As I pray for those in need within my community, I can talk to my 2-year-old about showing them the love of Christ by making them a meal, or even a plate of cookies. Just make sure to tie their hair back, wash little hands, and keep fingers out of mouths. My 7-year-old loves to be a part of making meals for others too and often will ask to help me deliver them as well. She is actually at an age where she loves to help me plan what to make and always thinks about what others will like best.
The Giver
My oldest is really great at helping me make and deliver meals, not because she’s obsessed with the kitchen, but because she is a gift giver. She, like me, takes in information on people all day long – she keeps note of likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc. She once overheard her teacher tell someone else when her birthday was and came home saying we needed to get her a gift to show her how much she was loved. As a ministry family, we don’t have money to buy everyone in our life gifts, so we’ve had to invent ways to give gifts that don’t cost much if anything at all. It’s a benefit that she also enjoys art, cooking & writing.
4. Love well
The last thing, maybe even the biggest thing you need to do if you want to help your children be the church, is to love well. Love your church, love your community, love your children. If you’re struggling with any of those things, ask God to give you eyes to see them the way He does. Ask God for a heart for those around you – he’ll answer. As we love our community, our church, and our children well, we will naturally bring them into what we are doing. Helping your children be the church doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s not a 10-step process. Let the love of Christ overflow from your life to your children, your church & your community. Model the overflow. Teach your children to love well. Invite them to join you in the overflow. And as they grow, they will overflow into others.
